clones impersonating clones
I told you. All the men in my life die.
I’m not a man in your life, okay? You said so yourself. I’m a little shitpot.
My family is no longer allowed to play Wii bowling.
do you ever think about the judges for the triwizard tournament trying to figure out who to kidnap for the second task
like they’re all just sitting in dumbledore’s office and karkaroff goes “well word on the street says that krum has a crush on that granger girl”
"damn," says dumbledore, "I wanted harry to rescue her. well, what about the delightful miss chang?"
"no," says bagman, "we’ve got her down for diggory"
"stop sinking my ships," says dumbledore
my dog just had surgery to get a nipple removed and when she came home after the surgery she immediately walked to the window and she has been staring out of the window for like half an hour now thinking about her new life with one less nipple
when will my nipple come back from the war
"maybe you shouldnt eat all of tha-"
if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted
GOING TO CLICK ON A NEW TAB AND ACCIDENTALLY EXITING OUT OF THE ENTIRE WINDOW
what if our use of emojis gradually becomes so extensive that we actually circle back to writing in hieroglyphics
some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”
wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”
"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"